Mom, CEO
Being self-sufficient and paying my own way has always been something I was very proud of. I started working “under the table” in a restaurant at about 13 years old. The first time in my adult life that I wasn’t able to provide for myself was when I was on bedrest after suffering a bleed during my last pregnancy. I turned 30 during my bedrest and I knew that lying in bed and not going to work was the best thing for me and my unborn baby. My first pregnancy went rather smoothly, and I was able to go back to work sooner than the six weeks I was allotted. However, with my second pregnancy I had to go on maternity leave early and due to health issues after giving birth, I never returned to my career.
At the start of my new journey as a stay-at-home mom, I was thankful that I was able to be home with my newborn, have surgery and heal without having to rush back to my job. However, when the reality of losing my income and now having to depend on my spouse financially set it, I struggled. I felt like my contributions to the household and raising the children were nothing, I felt like I was burdening my spouse. He never complained or made me feel less than but I still felt that way.
I began speaking with a new therapist in 2024 and she helped to shift my perspective drastically! She told me to look at my household as a “company” and my position as a stay-at-home parent as the “boss/CEO” of that company. She said my “work”, even if unpaid was valuable. This unlocked an entire new way of thinking for me. According to investopedia.com the estimated salary (if it were paid) of a stay-at-home parent is nearly $205,000 a year. Let that sink in.
So how have I applied this new perspective to my everyday life? I now understand that what I provide to my family is invaluable and I am not a burden at all. Both of my children are in school full-time now and I am blessed to be able to drive them to 2 different campuses and drop them off and pick them up each day. I fill my day with household chores, grocery shopping and errands. I built a “lunch break” into my daily schedule where I dine with a family member, visit a coffee shop or browse the aisles of my favorite stores. I have made time for hobbies, such as starting a YouTube channel. On the days when I’m not particularly busy, I drive for fast food or grocery delivery services, this allows me to make extra spending money for myself. I realize that to be an effective mom/boss I need to intentionally pour into myself and give myself grace.
We all know that being a stay-at- home parent can be tough and very lonely. It can often feel like an unpaid and unappreciated job, but remember you were chosen to be the CEO. I would suggest trying to find a healthy work/life balance. As with any job, some days will be better than others. These children won’t stay little for very long. Enjoy your tenure, you’re doing a great job!