How to Raise Children Without a Village

For one reason or another you may find yourself faced with trying to raise well rounded children without the assistance of friends or family, also known as “A village”. No matter the reason, I want you to know that it is possible and that you are not alone. My spouse and I have not had a typical village to help raise our 2 daughters for at least the past 5 years.

The only person that we really trusted to help us raise our children (our values and care standards aligned) was my Great Grandmother, who passed away at the start of the pandemic. Since then, we have been sort of alone in our mission to raise well rounded children. That means no date nights, no weekend getaways, ect. Yes, I know that we could have hired a babysitter but for us that situation is complicated because our children are 8 years apart and that presents a whole other challenge.

So how have we coped? Well, we built a system that works best for our family and I want to share those tips with you. The first thing I learned was to not worry about the lack of “village”. I now know that I would rather not have a village at all then one that I can’t trust or relay on. The next tip I would give you is to get your children involved with activities such as Girl Scouts, dance, Cub Scouts, running club, swimming or any other activity that you can afford, and they would like doing. My girls have both been in dance and in Girl Scouts at one time another a have really enjoyed them. Not only were they able to spend time learning something new, they are also able to have positive interactions with other adult community members. The bonus of this for me was that I was able to have some free time, you can usually drop your children off at these practices/meeting. I was also able to interact with other parents and at one of the dance companies they even had a monthly meetup for parents for networking and parenting support.

My third tip is to participate in free community activities. The libraries in my area host free events for pre-school through adult community members. I often go online and check out what events are coming up and add them to my schedule. I pick events that are age appropriate and are things my kids have interests in. By taking my kids to these events they are able to interact with other adults and children that they may not see every day. Also consider contacting local churches and organizations to see what programs they may offer.

Finally, I would suggest looking into systems such as drop-in day care. In my area, it has hours from 6AM-6PM and it makes for the perfect last-minute babysitter. I previously mentioned having issues finding a babysitter for my daughters, but I have found success before using a service like care.com.

The most important thing you can take from this in my opinion is to do what works for you and your family.